I'm Back!!
well sort of...
Good morning lovies!
You may mot have noticed but I have been on a bit of a reprieve from basically everything lately. What began as a harmless social media detox turned into a subtle stripping of all the baggage and expectations that I have been lugging around for years. I found myself meandering through thrift stores, antique malls and plant nurseries, decluttering closets and rearranging rooms. I meticulously planned and executed my front landscaping and found a love for rehabbing antique furniture. I made friends with the neighborhood crows and have let my curly hair blissfully exist as a free flowing crown.
As a woman who has literally dragged herself through the depths of my own healing, I do not take my life for granted. If I am honest, I never really believed this kind of peace was possible for me. It wasn’t that long ago that I was envious of a woman for her ability carefully curate her home. For the mental and creative space she had to envision, forage and intentionally decorate her life with the things she loved. That’s the difference between thriving and surviving.
I have recently reconnected with my estranged father while maintaining healthy distance from my toxic mother. I have both of them in my life on my terms and it doesn’t even make me sweat. That is HUGE.
Giving my brain a break from the overwhelming influx of information has given me my thoughts back. How weird. Nearly every idea, every thought, action or decision was so strongly influenced by someone else, I couldn’t even hear myself think. When your business lives on social media the line between authentic motivation and heartless performance becomes very blurred. I was swirling in a sea of confusion and I lost the plot. I watered down my passion and my purpose so it could be marketable. So that it “made sense”. I lost trust in myself because I couldn’t hack the algorithm. But I know now that I was doing it wrong.
At the end of the day, I recognize the gift that is virtual connectivity and I can utilize my unique skills to do what I am here to do. I needed the walls to fall so I could see the way. The dust is still settling.
I write to you on this full moon to express gratitude for your presence and to set the intention of who I am becoming as a coach, as a writer, as a woman for all women. I am here to remind you that nothing can shake the spirit of a woman who knows and loves herself completely. If you are confused, overwhelmed or stressed as you read this, I give you permission to release it. It is time to let go of that story, the one that writes the conditions of your existence. Its time to be who you have always wanted to be because why would you want to waste time being anything else .
A few weeks ago, I walked past a mirror and didn’t recognize myself. I stood there in disbelief. I wasn’t judgmental or critical of the reflection staring back at me, I truly didn’t know her. It was though my physical body had undergone a transformation. It was my skin and my eyes and my hair and my hands but something was different. It took me a couple days to figure it out but it wasn’t my body that had changed, it was my perspective that hadn’t. I had been so distracted that I never noticed when my physical reality had evolved. In my head I was still that hyper focused, determined, wounded version of myself that was so desperate for attention, validation and peace. I failed to realize that healing had changed me. When I looked in that mirror I expected to see struggle and desperation and instead I saw an overwhelming sense of calm. A calm that people had commented on and I had frivolously dismissed. How could I have missed this? I believe it was Dr David Hawkins that explains this phenomenon as that people who are so entrapped in their healing get used to the work that they rarely stop to enjoy the progress they have made. That was me.
Embodying this new version of myself requires a bit of recalibrating. My creative process has matured beyond having a bunch of great ideas to nurturing the ones that matter and I don’t pretend to know what that looks like. For now I am here, showing up in the best way that I can.
What’s the point? Honesty, authenticity, transparency. I want my clients and my readers to know that I am human. I want you to trust that my wisdom comes from experience. I want you to know that my heart is in the right place when I say that I want us all to be self aware, reflective and willing to live the best life we can because the human experience is 80ish years and your soul came here to do something magical.
All my love my friends.
- Taira
Ember & Bloom is my process. I use tried and true methods of intentional movement, collective wisdom and real, heart to heart support to help women reconnect to themselves and build a life of joyful intention.